This Sunday will be a year since my sweet husband popped the question.  :)  I have spent the morning filled with reflective thoughts over the last year.  It has been filled with some of the highest highs and some REALLY difficult stuff. 

Sometimes I get so stuck in the gross of life that I forget to see the wonderful rainbow above my head and thank the Lord that the rain stopped... I forget to give him credit for the good stuff and end up swelling on the muck.  And, i dare say, that some of the "muck" is probably just mud that I have dwelt on so long that it is putrid and it is time for me to let go and move away from the stench.  However, I have found that this particular feat is much more difficult than I ever thought it would be.

Then I look around at friends who are walking through some really dark valleys, and how they are still so positive.  They are full of hope and faith and drive to complete their journey.  That is when I realized that I am more responsible for my current state than any of those not-so-great experiences last year. 

SO, today I will attempt to move a little further away from all that.  Mourn that which should be mourned and start paying attention to the things in my life that should be celebrated!

I find that even just starting to think positively, I find that I am so happy. I feel so SO blessed in my marriage.  I truly do not have anything in my life to be discontent about.  My husband cherishes me, spoils me, provides for and encourages me.  We have a nice apartment, that is so close to my work.  We are healthy.  Have wonderful families that love and support us. 

Wow...  so very rich.

Thank you, Lord, for your goodness to me.  You are so so good.

Today, I am contemplating change in my life.  You know, I believe that God has a master plan for my life that is full of good, bountiful, wonderful things.  Sometimes I wonder if I have taken a detour and am on the service road.  With all the stop lights and the people who pull out in front of - or on top of you - rather than on the tollway...

Today is the day that I am on the service road.  Looking for the on ramp to the tollway.  Wondering if I missed the entrance ramp God had in mind for me, or if I am, in fact, where I am supposed to be.

I guess I have to wait and see.

Lemons and Limes

I LOVE fresh limes in my water, tea, and even my sprite (when I am feeling the need for sugar).   When I have fish, again, the lime is my go to.  My husband likes em in Dr. Pepper.  I have found that to also be an improvement - and I already think DP is pretty awesome - not to mention Dublins... but I digress

I have found it interesting that it seems that all the money I have paid to improve my diction through semesters of diction classes may have been a complete waste.  When I order a lime, I always get a lemon. 

Not sure if this is just a waiter/waitress auto-pilot thing.  Or if perhaps in the heat of the lunch rush, or the piling up at dinner, they simply forget.  No matter,  I have started analysing this to see if perhaps it is my error.

1) I very distinctly say "lime."  Making sure that the "m" sounds like an "m".
2) I have tried the tactic of very speaking slowly.  I have a tendancy to speak too quickly.  Happens all the time.
3) I have asked the waiter "what are those little green fruits that are like lemons?"  they always reply, "Limes?"  "Yes!  I'll have one of those in my tea."  Which I decided after trying once, that was perhaps viewed as irritating, so I haven't done it since.  That and the fact that I STILL got a lemon...

My husband finds it cute (I think) that I seem inept to order my beverage of choice.  He decided to come to my rescue.  This also proved interesting, because when he orders my tea with lime, I always get the lime... 

only mildly frustrating

We have now devised a plan that he usually orders for me.  I don't mind and I get what I want.  :)  If I end up forgetting, and order my own tea with lime, Greg orders a side of limes.  When my tea comes out with a lemon, his side of limes is there to rescue me.

What a hero. ;)

It's just not fair...

After the wedding, I think we both put on a little extra weight.  We definitely were exhusted from the previous 6 months of activity - planning wedding/honeymoon, moving, picking up extra gigs as we could.

Tired.

However, I was pretty proud that it seemed that I had gained a little less than half of what my man did.  I thought this to be a relatively manageable thing.  I just need to start paying more attention to what I am eating, etc... I teased him a little about how we were getting fat, and that was that.  He was on board to loose a little weight.

As I was envisioning walks in the park after work - maybe some gym action - he said, I'm gonna cut out soda completely.  I thought that was a good start.  Until a week later he had lost everything he had put on...

SO not fair.

I HATE arguing.  Let it be known.

Luckily I married a wonderful man who generally doesn't care for it either - or at least he doesn't usually argue with me.  :)  That isn't to say that I always "win."  Oh, to the contrary.  One of the reasons I married Greg is because I knew he wouldn't be afraid to argue with me if he felt strongly - or even tell me 'no' - which I must say is difficult to hear.  However, I respect him all the more for it.

However, I often feel that my need for folks to get along with each other and NOT debate something to the "nth" degree, often puts me at a disadvantage.  I have opinions that I often do not express as I want to avoid the argument that will surely arise from another person.  But, then, if I don't say anything, then I feel like I am not really participating.  Those who argue certainly don't care if I argue with them - they see it as a sport.  While I loathe what they refer to as 'banter', they seem to draw energy from it.

So frustrating for me.  

Recently, politics have been quite the hot topic.  I don't really like politics and I try to avoid them if possible.  But they effect me whether I acknowledge them or not.  I have feelings - sometimes strong feelings - about them.  It is hard to not be swept up into the storm of flying words.  As much as I hate that storm, I feel like if I don't participate, then I am not standing up for what I believe is right. Especially since, those things will effect my life - and possibly those who come after me. But then again, how much does it matter to Washington what I think - how I feel.  It doesn't, right?  So why get upset about it?  I guess because I feel helpless when things don't go the way I think they should.  My life changes based on what those on Capital Hill choose to pass or reject.  As many folks wrote yesterday - that is part of living in a democracy.  Sometimes it works for you and sometimes against you.

If I don't stand up for things I think are right, I am truly not participating.  However, if I choose to take a stand, then all those who oppose get to argue with me.  That is a fair, but vicious cycle.  :)  I suppose the best answer to to agree to disagree.  To disengage with those who find arguing a sport. 

I don't want to be complacent, but I don't want to fight about it.  Is that so much to ask?  :)

Snowing in Dallas

So I only remember a few times when it has snowed as long as it has snowed today. All of those times were when I was young and living in the country - Southeast of Norman OK. Snow always makes me excited. Its cold, wet, and is so peaceful as it falls gently from the sky. As long as it is here - the world is bright, clean looking. Such a startling background - so different from any other time of the year. And I think pretty different for Dallas.

I secretly like the cold much more than the heat. I love layers of cuddly clothes, warm blankets, wood-burning fireplaces in action, some hot tea, a good book and a snuggly place on the couch.
I get excited because I know that when I get to go home - though a slow and treacherous journey it may be, my sweet husband will be there. :) That although we don't have a fireplace, we can snuggle on the couch with my hot tea and my book while something warm is bubbling away on the stove. :) We can have enjoy a few stolen moments as work/play is canceled all around us. The still, quiet snow can leak into our evening and help give us time together that we would not have otherwise had.

Thank you, Lord, for sending us snow. And I would like to thank you in advance for the victory You will give me when my husband and I finish our snow ball fight we began this morning. :)

My husband has a blog. It was a wonderful way to get to know him while we were dating. It was fun to discover that he had written about me before we started dating. As our relationship grew I enjoyed his wit and writing. His perspective on life really cracks me up!

Recently, he hasn't written as often and I have missed his blogs. I thought it was so sweet to find these little notes posted on his page and often wanted to have a way to send him sweet notes from me.

We used to work in the same building, so it wasn't out of the question to leave little notes for each other - or even presents (Sonics). When he changed jobs in October, I couldn't have been prouder of him - and still am, however, I knew I would miss the convenience of having him close.

That day might be here...

Anyway, it is my hope that this little blog might become a special way for me to communicate with him - leave little notes for him throughout my busy day. Who knows? Maybe it will actually grow into something that people other than my sweet husband might enjoy.

I love you sweetheart. :)